Board Thread:Questions and Answers/@comment-32783267-20180122084929/@comment-32783267-20180131050444

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Somewhere in the vast barrens of Nevada, gathered a mass of cloaked people, with mysterious intention… towards the worn out stone altar, which is positioned in the sands of the barrens, placed on a makeshift supports seemingly for transportability of the altar.

The altar, in a rough shape of eight cornered octagonal plate, is slowly approached by a certain old man in black robes among the mass, with a physique of a frail unhealthy man, his face covered by the cloak draping over his shoulders.

“Embrace the grace, my brethren,  for the indomitable will of our Gods, from all around the world, we are here,” the old man begins his speech, with such vigor unexpected from a frail old man.

“Joe.. you are late. You know the Elder got little patience for such things,” whispered Dana “Tomato” White to Joe “Fanny Pack” Rogan who have just arrived.

Rogan nervously replied, “Sorry Dana.. My wife made me ran some errands.. ha.. ha.. You know the woman makes the rul..” “Fine, fine.. I get it.. Now, let’s be quiet before the ritual begins..” interrupted White.

On closer inspection, the mass of cloaked people includes various powerful figures associated with the current MMA landscape, such as the members of WAMMA, WME, CEOs and spokespersons of top MMA organizations along with famed MMA reporters and fighting analysts.

'''“NOW..!! THE TIME has COME!! AND THE GODS have SPOKEN!!! For all the great fights we GET, we owe… our tributes in DEBT!! SCOTT COOKER… bring forth your tribute to the GODS..!!!”''' screamed the Elder at the current President of Bellator MMA and Kickboxing.

A man in tuxedo, concealed underneath his cloak steadily approaches towards the altar and places a hematoma which was on Rory Macdonald’s shin (Don’t ask!) fresh off of his title fight against Douglas Lima.

“Man, I can’t believe they made Rory inactive..” mumbled Cooker..

“Did you just DOUBT the wisdom of THE GODS, MR. COOKER..!??” screeches the Elder at the uncertain President of Bellator.

“I.. I.. I’m .. of of course I’m not.. I’m not.. O’ Great One.. I will never question the arrangements of the Gods.. I swear..” answered Cooker, shakily.

'''“Good.. Now leave from my SIGHT, YOU FOOLISH MORTAL!! AND NEVER QUESTION THE WILL OF THE GODS AGAIN.. or the Gods will take away everything you’ve work hard for..” '''spoke the Elder with a threatening tone to Scott Cooker who quickly darts back into the mass.

'''“The Gods took it as an apology.. I took it as an apology.. Cooker Now, shall we proceed.. DANA WHITE… bring forth your tribute to the GODS..!!!” '''continued the Elder as the ritual carried on.

Dana White swiftly comes towards the altar and places a staph infection which was on Robert Whittaker’s knee (Don’t ask that either!) a cause of the entire Interim title situation.

'''“Very good.. MR. WHITE… The Gods are pleased with your tribute..” '''said the Elder with signs of satisfaction in his voice.

“Phew.. I dodge the bullet, Joe..” said White in relieve after he returned to his position beside Joe Rogan.

The offering of tributes by numerous top brasses of MMA world went on for a while and after it was all over… there was a brief silence before the Elder utters the first word..

'''“NOW.. my brethren,  your tributes were well received by the Gods.. They have given and they have taken.. AND NOW… LET US PRAY TO THE GREATNESS AND THE ABSOLUTE, O’ GREAT GODS OF MIXED.. MARTIAL.. ARTS..!!!!” '''screamed the Elder in a way that would remind an outsider of some hammy villain from 80’s films.

''The mass of cloaked people raise their hands up into the night sky, while facing down and starts chanting in unison with the Elder.. in tongues of the ancient.. the language lost in the sands of time…  ''

'“Oh your greatness, the one who bestows the sacred martial DURABILITY to Mixed Martial Art fighters in Brothers Diaz, Justin of the Gaethjes, Chris of the Lebens, Darren of the Elkins, Robbie of the Lawlers, and Frankie of the Edgars, may your grandeur continue to the end of eternity, O’ Great K’woNishje…” “K’woNishje gives.. K’woNishje takes…”'

'“Oh your greatness, the one who bestows the sacred martial LONGEVITY to Mixed Martial Art fighters in Dan of the Hendersons, Randy of the Coutures, Brothers Shamrock , Matt of the Hughes, Vitor of the Belforts, and Dan of the Severns , may your grandeur continue to the end of eternity, O’ Great Co’bekMyrduks …” “Co’bekMyrduks gives.. Co’bekMyrduks takes…”'

'“Oh your greatness, the one who bestows the sacred martial FLEETNESS to Mixed Martial Art fighters in Dominick of the Cruzes, Jose of the Aldos, Daniel of the Cormier, Cody of the Garbrandts, Edson of the Barbozas, and Michael of the Johnsons , may your grandeur continue to the end of eternity, O’ Great Niko’vozque …” “Niko’vozque gives.. Niko’vozque takes…”'

'“Oh your greatness, the one who bestows the sacred martial FLUENCY to Mixed Martial Art fighters in Conor of the Mcgregors, Chael of the Sonnens , Josh of the Koschecks, Tito of the Ortiz, Quinton of the Jacksons, and Frank of the Mirs, may your grandeur continue to the end of eternity, O’ Great Syl’vywrTuqne …” “Syl’vywrTuqne gives.. Syl’vywrTuqne takes…”'

'“Oh your greatness, the one who bestows the sacred martial FORTITUDE to Mixed Martial Art fighters in Cain of the Velasquezes, Michael of the Bispings, Rafael of the Dos Anjos , Max of the Holloways, Joanna of the Jedrzejczyks, and Kazushi of the Sakurabas may your grandeur continue to the end of eternity, O’ Great Vael’munoz’a …” “Vael’munoz’a gives.. Vael’munoz’a takes…”'

'“Oh your greatness, the one who bestows the sacred martial VERSATILITY to Mixed Martial Art fighters in Demetrious of the Johnsons, TJ of the Dillashaws, George of the St. Pierres, Jon of the Jones ,and Benson of the Hendersons, may your grandeur continue to the end of eternity, O’ Great Formi’Tillwo …” “Formi’Tillwo gives.. Formi’Tillwo takes…”'

'“Oh your greatness, the one who bestows the sacred martial PROMINENCE to Mixed Martial Art fighters in Fedor of the Emeliankos, BJ of the Penns, Anderson of the Silvas, Chuck of the Liddels, Bas of the Ruttens, Takanori of the Gomis, and Ronda of the Rouseys, may your grandeur continue to the end of eternity, O’ Great Djet’mortiu’s …” “Djet’mortiu’s gives.. Djet’mortiu’s takes…”'

'“Oh your greatness, the one who bestows the sacred martial POTENCY to Mixed Martial Art fighters in Francis of the Ngannous, Anthony of the Johnsons, Volkan of the Oezdemirs, Igor of the Vovchanchyons, Melvin of the Manhoefs, and David of the Abbots, may your grandeur continue to the end of eternity, O’ Great Ps’jeopziNot …” “Ps’jeopziNot gives.. Ps’jeopziNot takes…”'

'“Oh your greatness, the one who bestows the sacred martial HYPE to Mixed Martial Art fighters in Paige of the VanZants, Sage of the Northcutts, Erik of the Silvas, Hector of the Lombards, Todd of the Duffees, and Uriah of the Halls, may your grandeur continue to the end of eternity, O’ Great Ryli’Ifital …” “Ryli’Ifital gives.. Ryli’Ifital takes…”'

''They also mention other lesser pantheons such as the God of martial INTELLECT, Wyz’dumilndz’, the God of martial SQUIB, Co’beCo’Vyntud, and a few more not worth mentioning. ''

'“We offer our endless gratitude, for your kindness of infinite magnitude.. May your Greatness deliver many battles that are bold … Before the One will rise as foretold.. But till then we will suffice, as long as it takes for many lives, for eons so long the time may die… we won’t deny or so far defy.. the absolute law, adhere to all…. THE GODS GIVE, THE GODS TAKE.!!.”'

As the ritual is done with, the tributes on the stone altar were gone and the mass of cloaked figures disperses quickly along with the Elder with his guardians….

“Ok.. Joe, see you around. I need to catch a flight to Australia..” farewells White.

“Feel free to drop by Dana.. We should sit down and smoke some pot.. you look so tense man..” said Rogan.

And the two men parted their ways……

///////////////////////

'''“It’s…… TIME..!!!!! 5 Rounds for the Interim UFC Middleweight Championship of the World!! Introducing first.. FIGHTING….!!!”'''

''As the saying goes, you need to understand there are highs and lows in everyone’s life. You just don’t need to lose your way in times of struggles as the surfing enthusiast, the former Middleweight Champion, Luke Rockhold, now fighting for the Interim Belt, could attest. He had faced his demons and came into terms with his errors of the past.. He has been successfully ridding the waves of struggles and peace since then…''

“…THE FORMER UFC MIDDLEWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD, LUKE ROCKHOLD..!!!”

''The camp was excellent and Luke has never felt so loose and free… a similar feeling he had felt during the short period of time he was a champion… But this camp devoted an entire week just to make sure that Luke’s Jab is fundamentally sound and .. in other words.. not to be lazy..''

“.. And now… FIGHTING… out of the red corner, an Olympian wrestler, holding…”

''Yoel Romero, the Freak of Nature, the Soldier of Genetic Fortune, the One-of-a-Kind Athlete, and so on with many epithets he is labeled of, looks as athletic as ever.. Bouncing around all over the place… while the gang of (truthfully not that funny) comics and a BJJ wizard watching the fight in LA keeps commenting on how amazing Yoel physically is, with totally no homoerotic overtones and quipping jokes about the Cuban prematurely gassing himself out before the fight..''

“.. the number 1 Middleweight Contender in the world… YOEL THE SOLDIER OF GOD ROMERO!!!!...”

''But, little do they know, the Cuban is more prepared than ever.. Ever since losing the chance of getting the gold against the Australian with his cardio failing him, Romero was more dedicated than before in honing his cardiovascular endurance and sharpening his mat returning skills, something he overlooked in the past like a Freestyle wrestler would… Originally, he was preparing to unleash all of his newfound gains on Michael Bisping, with all that “I love you” and “I’m coming for you boi” talk. But fate had given him another chance and he immediately hoped on board to fill in as a replacement for the title fight..''

<>

Before the officials and trainers fully left the Octagon, the Cuban quickly whispered something to his head trainer and the head trainer gives a cryptic confirmation nod before leaving the cage… 

!!!...TING…!!!

''And it all begins.. two of the top Middleweights closing in and touching gloves then quickly assumes their fighting stances and takes the action just as the bell rings..''

“A guy like Romero is not something you should sleep on. He might have the obvious stamina issues but you always need to be wary of his sudden explosive bursts. They can change the outcome of the entire fight,” said Jimmy “Bellator Guy” Smith, on his first UFC commentary at a live event.

“Now.. what’s get interesting is that.. both are Southpaw fighters, BUT Luke is what fighters call an Inverted Southpaw, meaning he’s totally a right-handed guy fighting in a Southpaw stance.. Luke needs to be careful of Yoel’s takedowns but as long as he aligns his lead leg in a line to Yoel’s rear leg, he can take away the angle that Yoel can use to initiate a takedown attempt… AS long as Luke keeps moving of course,” explains Dominick “Mr. Glass” Cruz, who still won’t be fighting anytime soon, the fighting dynamics of the two fighters in the Octagon.

''Too bad DC isn’t here. He’s spending some time with his family before taking on a role that will make a history, a lasting impact on Mixed Martial Arts, the most honorable prestige in regards to UFC…… coaching the latest season of The Ultimate Fighter…. opposite Stipe ‘Man Work’ Miocic..''

''Within the first 10 seconds, the Cuban pounced in with his famed explosiveness, causing the Santa Cruz native to drop his base, preparing to sprawl it out, in brief panic. But Luke quickly realizes his mistake and hops out of the way, barely avoiding Yoel’s Oblique Kick..''

“You see that Jimmy? Luke has just denied Yoel’s angle by hopping out.. What’s interesting is that he moves out with his entire body at the same time,” commented Cruz.

“That’s right, Dom. If you look at the way Luke fight in the past, you will notice that he always moves out head first, body second and finally the feet follows, which made him very vulnerable in these moments previously. But now, I think Luke finally addresses these problem and ironed it out… hopefully,” continued Smith.

“Correct.. oh.. oh and there’s a takedown..” followed Cruz.

''Rockhold accurately timed Romero’s sporadic attempts at kicking his knees into a Blast Double.. and then on the ground Luke starts to work on passing the guard and securing the mount and optimally the back. But as soon as Luke assumed his Headquarters position to initiate the Half Guard pass.. he felt a tree trunks of legs suddenly scooping under his crotch and finds himself separated from the Cuban wrestler for a good few feet away just in a blink of an eye.''

……..

“HOLY SHIT..!!! Did you see that Eddie?” screamed Joe “Onnit” Rogan, amidst his screaming companions in the studio.

“Dude… The way Yoel kicked off Rockhold to escape the ground is just.. incredible..” chimed in Brendan “I talk over Bryan” Schaub.

Immediately Bryan “Get that Communist Shit Outta My House” Callen enters the conversation by, “Guys.. guys.. Have I told you guys about that time I met Romero during my visit to Cub…”

“There’s no way a normal person could pull it off especially in these days with the skill level fighters are at. Not to mention, that Yoel is over 40 years old..”  interrupted Schaub, “I got a skeptical hippo eyes on Yoel, fur sure.”

“But.. sometimes.. it’s just the way it is man..” said Rogan, “Some people are just that gifted physically.. Remember Dan Henderson? He fought to his mid-40’s man.. And he’s a th-th-th-thick dude..”

“Yoel.. just used the basic kicking off the hips to escape Rockhold’s guard pass attempt which won’t work for many fighters.. BUT he has that explosive power to successfully pulled it off,” pointed out Eddie “Twister” Bravo.

………

“Now, they are at the distance, feeling each other out again,” commented Cruz.

“You can’t really blame them though. They have too much to lose.. especially for Romero, he had already lost his shot last year at the Interim title and he’s not getting younger every day, Dom,” stated Smith, a statement which sort of triggers Cruz.

''Romero, with his eccentric movement, entered into sidestepping Rockhold’s range and raises his knee, apparently with the intent of throwing that Side Kick to the knee, the same kick he used to mangle Whittaker’s already injured knee in his previous fight. But Rockhold reflexively picks up his lead leg as if he was planning to check the kick.. something that Whittaker founded out the hard way… But instead, Luke performed a Crane Kick, in the Dragon style who had just fought last week, however, the Cuban literally squats under the Crane Kick barely missing his head and flips the Santa Cruz Native who’s in midair as he postures up. Luke, now finding himself on his back pressing against by the head of 40 Year Old Not a Virgin Wrestler, quickly put Yoel in his guard and works on his way to recover to his feet. But the Cuban wrestler had learnt his lesson and have been working on his mat returning skills for quite a while.. and Luke finds himself unable to get up as he gets repetitively taken back onto the mat…''

!!!...TING…!!!

''And the first round is over in what just seems like 2 minutes due to the intensity and the heat of the atmosphere rising up.. mostly from the oddmakers who were hoping Luke to win.. The fighters then retreats to their respective corners…''

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TO BE CONTINUED.....

(Note: I took a lot of time to come up with a convincing pantheons of MMA and the names are basically a shoutout to Lovecraftian stories.. Half of them are easter eggs while the other half are just random collection of letters, also I had to be really careful about the fighters so there won't be dupes. Enjoy... I wonder if the MMA Gods thing become a legit thing lol)