Board Thread:Questions and Answers/@comment-32783267-20180122084929/@comment-32783267-20180124134741

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The press conference went on as usual with fighters trading shots with each other and many armchair analysts giving their prediction of what might happen in the fight, sometimes with ridiculous, though funny, hyperboles like; No Gay Jesus by Cuban Missile Knee, or Rocksalt by Lazy Jab and such.

“But my point is.. anything can happen in a fight.. I mean.. it’s hard to see what’s truly coming until it happened to be fair.. Like Cormier said.. there are levels in this games and we saw that in UFC 220 with both Volkan and Francis got pushed into the deep waters man…” said Joe “Five-Fingered Shoe” Rogan to his usual clients Brendan “Yes-man to Joe” Schaub, Bryan “I’m not gay” Callen and Eddie “Mr. Edge” Bravo on his podcast..

“I agree Joe,” confirmed the Yes-man  Schaub, “You think Luke would floor Bisping?.. Nah..Check this out…Kadoosh!! Bisping KO’ed Luke with a left hook.. I mean as if the MMA Gods were punishing Rockhold for getting too arrogant.. it’s crazy. But I’ll tell you that.. this fight with Rockhold and Romero is a drawl fur sure..”

“And you guys should notice the way Rockhold chains up his submission if he wasn’t relying on his striking or ground and pound,” joined in “Reaping-the-Knees over Shins-to-the-Head “ Eddie, “Guys from AKA are trained in Jiu Jitsu, formerly.. formerly,by Dave Camarillo who has his own school of Jiu Jitsu, Guerilla Jiu Jitsu.. But, Luke’s no longer with AKA by but if you look at the way Luke applied that Kimura from the Inverted Triangle position on Tim Boetsch is a thing of a beauty… and Luke’s ground game is just so slick and tight overall.”

“Isolation Chamber” Rogan then continued, “Well, his Jiu Jitsu is no joke and he’s a stud, A STUD-d-d-d, on the ground.. look at what happened to..”

“Guys.. guys have I told you about that time I sparred with Rockhold?” interrupted “Kam-boo-cha” Callen before “The Tragedy of Fritz Haber” Rogan could finish his sentence.. “As much as I don’t know too much about MMA striking.. myself.. I can tell Luke’s striking skills are also not something you should sleep on…”

“BUT but.. he got knocked out by Bisping, Bryan! He was also in deep trouble against Branch early on.. and you’re saying his striking is top notch? There are holes in his striking, Bryan!” yelled “CTE Suspect” Schaub.. “You have no idea.. what you are talking about man.. Did you even watch his fights?”

“Well, I don’t know man.. He’s training with Henri Hooft now.. so we might see some noticeable differences in his striking in this fight.. I mean Henri Hooft is no joke…” noted “Reverse Hyper” Rogan.. which was interrupted by “Shutdown Artist” Schaub, saying, “I have to disagree with you for this one… a bit, Joe..” which was for the first time, an intelligent comment by Abu Schaubi  in many years..

“Oh.. what’s that, Brendan?...” asked “One-in-a-million” Rogan.

“.. Did you notice Henri Hooft’s fighters are not that good in terms of overall success lately?” continued “Gucci Shoes” Schaub, “Think of it. They usually started strong and fast.. but if they can’t take you out quick.. they will fade away gradually.. like Rumble for example… that’s what I’m saying Joe. They also seem to perform badly on the ground despite being a big name MMA gym.. I mean.. Oezdemir looked lost against DC on the ground for a recent example and I saw that Michael Johnson fight too.. even though I was badly sick.. by the way..”

“I thought I was the only one but .. Darren Elkin’s Rear Naked Choke is just that slick because Johnson basically gave up once he was on the ground…   I thought he was still just broken after that Khabib fight.. That ain’t happening to Tony..” came in “Look into it” Eddie as Schaub finished his rare, out-of-character, intelligent statement.

“…. But Luke is already a complete package to be fair.. He got the power, the reach, the grappling and the striking, even though it has some holes.. So, I don’t know man.. anything can happen..” followed “The Fighter” Schaub..

Bryan, feeling left out, attempts to enter the fight talk with, “Guys, believe me. I saw that Cormier fight and...”

“I understand you guys’ point… Maybe Hooft’s successful fighters were just successful thanks to their physical gifts…Maybe we COULD see the best version of Luke in that event.. or maybe a different from usual version Luke even..” agreed “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Machida Era” Rogan,

<p class="MsoNormal">“…But Yoel is.. the kind of fighter.. who is dangerous all the time.. He has that one explosive power that can change the momentum of the fight.. entirely.. Even in his fight against Whittaker.. he fucked Whittaker’s knee up in the early rounds.. but before he can.. No, you have to give Whittaker some credit for that of course.. Yoel just didn’t capitalize too much on that early on and…”

<p class="MsoNormal">“..And he gassed,” capped off by “The Hybrid” Schaub, “But I’m keep telling you guys… unless Yoel finishes Luke fast or he will gas hard and teed off by Rockhold as the fight goes on.. And remember.. Yoel is not getting younger and despite his wrestling.. Luke is way more well-rounded.. that’s my prediction fur sure.”

<p class="MsoNormal">“Oh, look at the time.. ha ha.. we didn’t even talk about the fights..” laughed “We need to hunt bears.. for reasons” Rogan, “ We were just so distracted we only talk about fights for like 5 minutes…. We’re getting so shitted on the social media… Um.. anything to plug in?”..

<p class="MsoNormal">“.. I got a show at < >, < >  at < > and < >..” said “Big Brown” Schaub.. chimed in by “Connoisseur” Callen, “.. we also got standup at < >, < >, at < > too.. be sure to check us out..”

<p class="MsoNormal">Then, “High Level Problem Solving with Dire Physical Consequences” Rogan prodded ” Eddie?” “Umm.. EBI 15 on Saturday Febuary 17 .. tickets are available now and will be available on UFC Fight Pass..” answered “Michelson-Morley Experiment” Eddie.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Alright ladies and gentleman.. I got a show in < >, < > theatre at < >.. I’ll see you guys at there.. Good Bye!” finished “A Coyote took my Chicken” Rogan..

<p class="MsoNormal">//////////

<p class="MsoNormal">“It’s……….TIME..!!!..”

<p class="MsoNormal">''I’ve live my life the way I want to.. Did everything I could... for my family.. who are everything to me… ''

<p class="MsoNormal">'“..5 Rounds for the Undisputed UFC Middleweight Championship of the World!! Introducing first…”'

<p class="MsoNormal">I got nothing to lose coming into this fight…“..holding professional record, 29 Wins, 7 Loses…”

<p class="MsoNormal">''Some may say.. I’ve passed my time or I will never fight for the belt…  Hmph.. naysayers.. . But here I am like after a decade… But maybe I might not get another chance if I mess this one up…  ''

<p class="MsoNormal">'“..FIGHTING out of Manchester, England.. presenting.. “.. '''Who cares.. I’ve lived for this moment… '''”.. and the number 4 ranked Middleweight Contender in the world....”'''….I’ve lived for this fight…. I believe myself ....'''“…THE CHALLENGER.. MICHAEL THE COUNT BISPING!!!..”….'and… I believe in ..destiny…

<p class="MsoNormal">''That boy is getting too cocky..“…FIGHTING out of the red corner…” .. I’ll show him not to count the Count out… “… holding professional record, 15 Wins, 2 Loses..”...Jacre’s hurt, so is Weidman.. Guess I finally got lucky in the Wheel of Destiny game…  “..and presenting..”..now .. now .. relax and focus…“..and the REIGNING, DEFENDING, UNDISPUTED..”…Remember.. right and hook.. right and hook..”…LUKE ROCKHOLD..!!!” …. if that doesn’t work out… I’ll find a wa.. NO.. it’ll work.. it has to work…''

<p class="MsoNormal">''.. .. ..''

<p class="MsoNormal">!!..TING..!!

<p class="MsoNormal">''Remember.. this is all distraction.. the goal is ..right and hook….''

<p class="MsoNormal">''.. Shit this guy’s tall… I got to touch my way in…… Don’t get kicked.. Don’t give him space….''

<p class="MsoNormal">''There it is… your lazy jab… Ok.. the plan is starting to make sense.. You got this… Make him jab.. more.…''

<p class="MsoNormal">''Fuck.. Fuck.. don’t get kick.. focus Michael… this is your time to shine…. Right and hook…Focus… ''

<p class="MsoNormal">''…. …. ….''

<p class="MsoNormal">''Ok.. he’s throwing more jab.. just a bit more…''

<p class="MsoNormal">… … …

<p class="MsoNormal">He’s losing patience… I hear you Jason… I trust your plan… focus Michael…

<p class="MsoNormal">… … …

<p class="MsoNormal">''*The timer stopped.. Everything was frozen in place… In front of the eyes of the Count.. stands a Middleweight Champion with his chin sticking up.. as he was retreating… the Count noticed he had a clear outside foot advantage… *''

<p class="MsoNormal">Now’s the time… Checkmate fuck boy… You counted out the Count…

<p class="MsoNormal">'“He hurt him bad.. He hurt him bad…..” ”Here’s he coming with the left…AND AGAIN.. MICHALE BISPING IS THE NEW UFC MIDDLEWEIGHT CHAMPION.. OF THE WORLD..!!!”'

<p class="MsoNormal">…………………….

<p class="MsoNormal">“AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGG!!!!”

<p class="MsoNormal">''Here he was.. the Middleweight contender, soon to be fighting for the Interim Belt, screaming into the empty night sky.. visible through the glass window beside his bed.. He immediately came back to his senses and looked around for a while... then realized the reality of the awkward situation had it had been in the public…''

<p class="MsoNormal">……..

<p class="MsoNormal">The night is quiet and lonely… but a man can be heard sobbing alone....

<p class="MsoNormal">///////////////

<p class="MsoNormal">TO BE CONTINUED....

<p class="MsoNormal">